Where Everybody Knows Your Name

I have been back in Ethiopia for about 3 weeks now and haven't had a bad day yet. It's true...the second year is SO much better than the first. The first few days I spent in Addis reuniting with old friends and making new friends with Group 4. I was amazed by how at home I felt. When I landed at Bole International and got on a taxi to head to my hotel it was so familiar and so comfortable (not sure if comfortable is an appropriate word...nothing here is actually comfortable). It made my trip to the States feel like a vacation and, by some cruel twist of fate, Ethiopia is my actual home. The best part was definitely the return to Masha. It's like Cheers...everybody knows my name. It used to drive me crazy when the kids screamed my name incessantly from every direction, but I love it now (for the time being at least). I also have a lot of new neighbors and a site mate now, which makes a world of a difference. My site mate is pretty awesome and a bit dorky...we get along well.

Work has been going well since coming back, too. I haven't heard about the Youth Center grant yet...but the Embassy told me that they are still reviewing. It's not too late! The garden I started was planted while I was away, which was a pleasant surprise. It seems to be doing well...everything has sprouted at least. I also started a new project with the PLWHA Association. We're going to start a mill house for an income generating activity. So far everything is going smoothly. I hope to submit the proposal in February. I kind of want to to a Partnership Grant, which means that you all can get involved by donating! This way you can be a part of my work, too. 

Christmas is in a few days. Just like last year it doesn't feel like Christmas is coming at all. There are no lights on the houses, no tree, no ABC Family 25 Days of Christmas, no Christmas music on every radio station 24/7, no cookies, no family... This weekend we will have a bit of a celebration though. I now have 15 neighbors in my general area so we're all getting together for a pot luck feast, card games and maybe a white elephant gift exchange. Modest, but it will be nice to have the company, our mismatched little Jimma-Loop family. 

So that's about all that's going on. I'll write some stories next time to be a little more interesting. Until then, Happy Holidays! I miss you all!

And.....a wish list!!

Ultimate Frisbee disc

Music

Chocolate

Snacks (granola bars, trail mix, cookies...)

Sauce/Dressing mixes

Cheese (velveeta is fine until opened)

Craft Activities

Flute music

Magazines

Books 

Tomato seeds (I'm starting my own little sack garden)

Surprises! 

Back in the Saddle Again

After months and months of anticipation, my trip home has come and gone in a flash. At the moment I am sitting in the airport waiting to board my flight home (home, being Ethiopia). This time is a bit different than the first, I am less nervous, less sad, less wide-eyed and hopeful and more prepared, more confident and more ready. Last time I was going on a brand new adventure not knowing who I would meet, where I'd end up or what I would do. This time I know exactly where I'm going, what I need to do and who I'm going to reunite with. But there's still that sense of new adventure. First thing I'm going to do is help out at PST and meet all the new kids and my new neighbors. I'm also going to see a few people I've been missing during my absence. I have projects that I am excited to finish and people I am excited to see. I feel like I'm going home, not away.

I am very thankful that I left Masha on a good note. Things were really shaky at the end and I was unsure of whether or not I'd be returning. Being able to go back to my home is a relief and I'm really looking forward to it. I miss Masha, it's where I belong. Being excited to return, though, does not mean I am happy to leave America. This was perhaps one of the best months I can remember. I saw almost everyone I wanted to see (I'm so, so sorry to those I missed...a month goes by quickly!) and ate almost everything I wanted to eat. I made my way across the country from MD to CO to NJ/NY to CT and back to MD again. I did some work (APHA conference and speaking to groups about the Peace Corps) celebrated the holiday with family and had more fun than is good for anyone. Thank you to everyone that went along with my plans, stayed out longer than you would have otherwise and for all the generous giving. Everything was perfect. I already miss you all and eagerly await you letters (especially you, Michael).

I will try to post again when I actually get there, but who knows what the internet/electricity situation will be like. Until next time, thank you and I love you all.

....

I had several requests to post another wish list (yessss!) for care packages. I will do this when I get back to Masha and see what I have and what I need. Thanks!

Just Stay

Since my last post I have done some community mobolizing to make it so I do not have to leave my little town of Masha. I spoke to my buddy Ato Getahun (the mayor), the guys I work with and community members about the issue at hand. They were shocked and quite upset by the news that I would have to leave town if the problem wasn't solved quickly. Immediately they sprang into action and started asking for donations and assistance. It felt so great that my community wants to keep me so badly. Often I wonder if people here like me or realize the work that I'm doing, so the tremendous effort made me feel appreciated. The town fought for me as hard as I fought for the town. It was a GREAT feeling.

So now the problem is resolved and I will not be moving to Arbra Minch. I can remain in my town and continue the work that I started. Of course now the pressure is really on to be successful.

We Can Work it Out

I have spoken to many of you about this, but those of you who have heard second or third hand, here is the story.

There has been an ongoing issue in Masha that Peace Corps has been working on finding a solution to for some time now. The issue itself is a story best told in person, but it is not entirely crucial to the story. Until just a few days ago everyone thought this was an easy problem to solve and it just took talking to the right people. This is why I was so shocked when I got a call at 7am Friday morning saying "Nikki, I think it is best if you leave Masha". I was crushed. My initial reaction was quite strong and I immediately got on a bus to Addis to discuss this decision that had been made without my input. During our discussion I learned that the problem was not that easy to solve, and I realized that the staff really had done everything in their power...there are just too many administrative obstacles. Of course I protested... I'm so invested in this community and the projects I have started. After the waterfall incident and the youth center project just falling into place I was SURE that this was the reason I was sent to Ethiopia. This is my purpose and the meaningful contribution I am meant to make. If I leave my town it's all taken away and in the year I've been here I will have accomplished nothing. I would have to start all over in a new town...by the time I integrate myself into the community, identify projects and get an idea it will be time for me to leave. A year is not enough time to do something big.
The last option we identified is to rally my co-workers, the town administrators, my friends and the community to fight for me. We're going to put the pressure on the right people to take action, to solve the problem once and for all to allow me to stay in the town I've come to adore. We set the deadline at Oct 11th, so that way if I do have to move I can do so before I go home in November. I'm really hoping it doesn't come to that though. I like my town, I like my work, and I really like my (pcv) neighbors. In the city they are planning to move me to I would not be close to any of my friends, I'd be a full day away from anyone and my support system will be reduced to telephone conversations.
I will update when I know what's going on. Until then don't send any mail, I'd hate to miss any letters because I had to change my address.

Before ending this post I do have to say that Peace Corps has been wonderful about the whole situation. They have been calling people every day trying to find a solution that works for everybody. They have seriously looked at all the possibilities and are giving it everything they've got to keep me in Masha. They've let me come to Addis to see friends for stress relief and everytime I call or stop by the office they put down everything to talk with me. I'm in no way upset with the organization or staff members about anything, their hands are tied and if the problem isn't solved I know I have no choice but to move. Everyone has been so helpful and supportive, it's just a tough situation.

I should also mention before signing off that i'm safe and healthy. No worries about me. I'll tell everyone all about it in November.

Kids

About two weeks ago now the volunteers in SNNPR held our regional
summer camp for boys and girls ages 10-14. The camp ran 5 full days,
each with a unique programming theme.

Day 1: Getting to Know You
This day focused on identity, setting goals, discussing heroes etc…
Day 2: Culture
Campers and Counselors had an opportunity to discuss the differences and similarities between Ethiopian and American cultures. The day was full of skits (in my skit I demonstrated a day in the life of a volunteer… I'm sure I am remembered as the girl who didn't know how to use a latrine. Poop jokes are funny to kids in every culture). There was also a cross-cultural scavenger hunt and a pizza party.
Day 3: Health and HIV
Pretty self-explanatory. Programs were focused on HIV/AIDS, dental hygiene and hand washing.
Day 4: Decision Making
The kids (and volunteers) were pretty tired by day 4, so the programming was cut short. I did facilitate a fun activity on "how to say no" that the campers really got a kick out of, though.
Day 5: Adventure
Hippo Tours!!! Carnival!!!

Now for the interesting parts. Unlike the other regional camps, our group chose a very difficult group of kids. They were pretty young (and some towns sent kids that were 6 and made the kids say they were 10), about 7 of the boys were street kids, 2 were HIV positive and there was a great range in social stratification amongst the other campers. During the beginning of the week we had quite a number of behavioral issues, primarily with the street kids. Not their faults though, they have never been in a classroom, have never had to sit still and listen to anyone, they are not afraid of authority and they have never had to live with any structure. You can imagine that they had a difficult time adjusting to scheduled programming. In addition to these issues, there were many fights to break up. By mid-week we were discussing if we should send some kids home because we just couldn't control them. We eventually decided to let them stay, but because that morning one of the richer kids locked himself in his room because he was afraid of the street kids we needed to have a serious talk with them. After that chat they completely turned around. By the end of the week everyone was friends, programs went wonderfully and they earned the last day of fun.

But behavior wasn't the only problem. We had a shocking number of medical issues. The first was one of the kids who were much too young to be attending camp. He was having a hard time keeping up so we were thinking of sending home anyway. He was mildly sick, but we decided this was a legit reason to send him home. A few days later the boy's family called us demanding money for making him sick.
The next problem was a boy who suddenly got very ill. We took him to the clinic but all the usual tests came back normal. The only thing we knew was that his WBC count was high and therefore was fighting an infection. That night, before the meds set in he went into shock. It was scary. He made it through the night and rebounded by the end of camp. The third medical case was a girl who felt very ill. We took her to the clinic (by now they are getting used to us) for tests. She tested positive for malaria, we got her treatment, and she felt better soon. This was surprising to me. Masha is at a high altitude and there are no mosquitoes or malaria. I've never been in a place where malaria is so common.
The last major medical event was, by far, the worst. A few of the boys were horsing around when one of them wiped out. He banged up his knee so badly that the bone was showing…pretty nasty stuff. We took him to the hospital and he needed to have stitches. The boy was a trooper and was showing off the next day. This case worries me because he was one of the street kids. I'm sure he won't get the stitches taken out at the hospital and I doubt he is able to keep the wound clean and change the bandages. On top of these events there was also a lice break out throughout the camp. We couldn't do anything for the kids with lice, but after camp all the volunteers had to get head checks. It was like elementary school all over. Along with lice, the kids also brought bed bugs with them. After the first night the hotel manager showed us all the bugs jumping in the beds. We had to buy the kids clothes to wear so theirs could get washed and pay a large laundry fee. All of these unanticipated expenses were made more serious by a bank issue. The bank's policy prohibited us from withdrawing all of our
camp funds and left of severely short on cash. After visiting a few branches and speaking with many people we finally got our money a day before camp ended. Phew!

Despite all of the setbacks, overall camp was a success. The kids all loved it and the volunteers, much to my surprise, worked so well together. Our region is full of strong personalities and leaders so I
was expecting disaster, but instead we all fell into our roles and were able to provide a great camp. The hardest part, and probably one of the hardest things I've ever had to do, was to put the street kids back out in the street again. They were given a week of food, shelter, love, attention and support and just as quickly as it came, we had to take it all away. They were scared to go back out there, scared to wonder how to survive again. The next day I ran into two of the kids working their neighborhood. They ran up to me and gave me hugs…much different than the week before when they would have badgered me for money and harass me. One kid with them that wasn't at camp begged us to be a part of the program and pleaded "take me, take me!" Seeing them out there broke my heart. I wish there was something more I could do for them. I think the volunteer in the town where the kids live is looking into scholarships to send the boys to school, or maybe with our left over budget money we can provide them with some kind of tuition.

The camp was a fantastic learning experience for both the campers and counselors. The greatest lesson I learned was from the street kids. There are SO many children in Ethiopia and it is overwhelming. It is
impossible to help all of them or to even give them all attention. Having such a prolonged and close relationship with these kids made me realize that they all have such potential. If I had the time to get to
know them, I could love each and every one. Since then I've been less dismissive of the kids that beg for money and at least acknowledge them. Again I am left feeling guilty for the good fortune I have had
throughout my life. But more than guilty, I am truly thankful. I am thankful that I live in a country where I have the opportunity to be whatever I want to be, I am thankful that I have parents that encourage me to follow my dreams and tell me I can do anything, thankful that I have friends and family that support all my crazy ideas, thankful that I've never had to wonder when my next meal will
be or where I would sleep (except when back packing…right Ellie?). I'm not sure what all of this means, or where it will bring me, but I am sure there's a reason that I'm experiencing these things and that they will eventually lead me to what Dad calls The One Big Thing.

Freedom Hangs Like Heaven

In high school band we played a piece inspired by Norman Rockwell's Four Freedoms paintings (which were inspired by a speech given by Roosevelt). Freedom of speech, freedom of religion, freedom from fear and freedom from want. A friend asked me in a letter if the past 10 months have changed my outlook on life, and how. In trying to answer this question I was reminded of these images. These four freedoms are so much a part of our daily lives in America that you don't really ever stop to think about them, it's impossible to understand what they mean when you've never lived without. Ethiopia has taught me just how important these freedoms and to appreciate that we live in a place where we don't realize how spectacular it is because there's never been a reason to think about it.

Freedom of Speech:
As a volunteer I often find that I need to censor myself. I am told not to participate in conversations about politics and not to air many of my opinions. I often feel like I have to hide aspects of my personality for reasons such as cultural sensitivity, language misinterpretation and having to be who Ethiopia wants/needs me to be. No one in my town knows the real Nikki, they see me as a recluse, work-a-holic, serious person... at home I am none of those things. There are many times that I would like to speak up or dissent with people (especially at work) but I am not allowed to do so.

Freedom of Religion:
As a volunteer I am also instructed to stay out of religous conversations. Ethiopia is a deeply religious country, with the majority of people either Christian or Muslim. On a daily basis people ask me my religion and pressure me to attend a church service. To me, religion is something personal, and I've never been one to really discuss it openly. Here I cannot avoid the conversation. At home you'd never ask someone you just met what his or her religion is, but here it is the next question after "how are you?" and "where are you from?".

Freedom from Want:
This one is pretty self-explanatory. While there is, indeed, poverty in America and this freedom is anything but universal, in my life prior to Peace Corps I never truly understood what it meant to really want. The exteme levels of poverty throughout this country are still shocking to me. Just the other day I learned what I previously thought was a chicken coop was actually a home. It's heartbreaking to see families living on the sidewalk in Addis, people whose bodies are disfigured from polio because they did not have access to vaccinations, children who cling on to you asking for a birr or a piece of bread. I often say that I'm hungry here...but I know I've never really been hungry in my life.

Freedom from Fear:
One of the things that I am most afraid of here is the access to medical care. I live in a very remote area, the closest hospital is two bus rides away, and with the waiting at the bus station this can take a whole day. If there is a medical emergency there's no guarantee that people can get medical attention (family and friends, don't panic....if I were seriously injured Peace Corps would find a way to get me out). I could continue listing fears, but the freedom of speech thing does not permit me to express all my thoughts on my blog.

Something Like Human

"Anyone who proposes to do good must not expect people to roll stones out of his way, but must accept his lot calmly if they even roll a few more upon it. A strength which becomes clearer and stronger through its experience of such obstacles is the only strength that can conquer them"
Albert Schweitzer

It is still difficult for me not to be annoyed when the first thing I hear when I walk out of my compound in the morning is "Nikki, give me money!!" I still get frustrated when I'm in a town other than Masha and people yell "farenji! You! You! You!" I still hate when men ask me if I am married, and when I say "no" they say "I should have to find an Ethiopian husband." It still drives me crazy when people seem like they want to have a conversation with me, but by the third line they ask me if I will take him/her to America with me. I want to give these people a piece of my mind, explain that EVERYONE asks me for money and I cannot and will not give money to every person who asks for it. I want to tell them that I am giving up two of the best years of my youth to work for free…isn't that enough? I want to tell them that if they visited my country they wouldn't be harassed or mocked like I am here. I don't yet have the strength that Schweitzer talks about in the above quote. I have a hard time accepting the stones in my path…especially the ones that people roll upon it. Today I was reminded why I shouldn't get frustrated or annoyed with the people who ask for money and go to extremes just to get my attention. After all, I live my life avoiding "what ifs" and taking every opportunity presented to me, and I repeatedly embarrass myself with defeat…because not trying is an even greater failure. You almost can't blame these people for asking for money or a job or a green card every time they see a Westerner. The number of Westerners in Ethiopia is pretty small, so when one comes to a random town such as Masha why shouldn't they ask? It's an opportunity they rarely get, and while I consider it rude, annoying and frustrating…for them it is worth it. The situation that made me think about this today was a particular person in my town. In the past three days he has come to my house, found me in town and followed me to work to ask for money. When he showed up at my office I was angry…this person has no right to be following me, showing up at my home and not respecting me when I say I can't give him money. Today he gave me a note. It read (copied exact)

 "First I want to great you secondaly I want to say some thing about my problem that is I am peashent (i.e. I do't have ability to do work) b/c I do't have family or any helper to get treatment. So that please help me."

I still politely told him I cannot give him anything, because if I do then everyone will give me a note explaining some reason why they need me to give them money. But it did make me stop and consider the other side of the coin. There are a lot of people here that are poor, sick, alone and really can't get to a place where he/she can help him/herself. It does me well to put things into perspective and stop
being so self-righteous. You're not supposed to volunteer and expect people to say "thank you" or to receive anything in return…it's supposed to be a selfless act. Being here doesn't mean that I deserve
respect and that people should be appreciative of my presence, especially if they don't realize that I'm here working and contributing to their lives in a different capacity. On a similar note, this incident made me think about what it means to be human (something I've been thinking about a lot since coming here). As human beings, we have a moral and ethical responsibility to help our fellow man out if we can. It is our duty to help those who are in a rough spot. From childhood we are taught to share, to work as a team, to support each other. There is a sense of pride in standing together in our similarities… Think those "Pride in Putnam 1990" t-shirts we all wore, people have pride in their sports teams, state, region and country. Why isn't there the same camaraderie among human beings? Why does it stop at your own country? Why does the responsibility end there? This particular thought came to mind when I was re-reading the literature on health care for detained immigrants (my APHA presentation topic). In our prisons we often treat criminals convicted of high crimes better than we do detained immigrants (some just seeking asylum!) because they are from our country and therefore
somehow deserving of better treatment. I should probably stop this tirade here, I think I'm getting close to being inappropriately political for a Peace Corps blog (reminder these are my thoughts, not the position of the US government or US Peace Corps). I guess what I was trying to get at, in my moments of moral weakness and in my embarrassing reaction to the people who just want to take advantage of the opportunity to improve their present condition, to remind people that everyone is fighting a battle. Remember to take all things into perspective before judging and reacting negatively. It's a difficult thing to do, but the uncomfortable and frustrating situations are those that give us the strength to accept these obstacles in the future.